Jeez it's been awhile... well, I guess I've just been busy.

Classes are ok, life is ok, SCA is ok.  Which is more than I can say for about this time last year, so I have that to be thankful for. 

I'm steadily getting more worried about going to Luxembourg next fall... I don't know, but it's going to be so hard to leave.  But I guess in order to learn things you have to go out on a limb and scare yourself shitless by doing something crazy.  Experiences wouldn't be so valuable if they came without a price.  I'm just afraid that I'll leave and then my whole world will come crashing down while I'm not there to hold it up. 

Happy Birthday to my little sissy Caitlin!  Yes folks, she's 18 and legal now...

So my internet is running depressingly slow.  Which is odd, since Tim said that Mary Lyon got upgraded to some awesomely cool, super-fast new system.  By my own experience, I say the old system was working better.  It's been slow for a while, it began a bit after we got "upgraded".  GRR.  It makes me frustrated when it takes a minute and a half to load one page. 

I'm getting more worried about my term paper for HST 314.  The more research I do, the more I think I might need to revamp my entire thesis to make this paper make sense.  I have Thanksgiving holidays to work on it, I hope, as long as my parents don't make me go into work while I'm home for the few days!  That would be disastrous... I just need time to be able to sit and think this paper through. 

i just feel like crying...

Dr. Goldy wrote back, and I got the classic "Well, you're only a sophomore.  I'd recommend doing USS after your junior year."  So no USS for me this year, although I wanted to do it more than most of the juniors.  I know I have "more time" but i don't fucking want to have more time.  I want to get my undergrad done, I want to be where everyone else seems to be, except because I'm an apparently infantile nineteen-year old, I shouldn't be worried about my career just yet. 

and everyone else is able to move ahead, while I'm going to be stuck back here for two more stupid years.  I'm so fucking sick of being the little kid who gets left behind.  So you all have fun when you get out of here, don't worry, I'll still be left behind with all the rest of the unmotivated sophomores who can't see past their senior year. 

somebody shoot me please.

Lord, but it got cold all of the sudden... I wouldn't mind cold if I had any ability whatsoever to retain body heat.  So I have to go to class in sweaters, hat, gloves, scarf, my big black coat, all to retain any heat at all.  Now that wouldn't be so bad, if the buildings weren't heated so extraordinarily well.  So I get into my crowded lecture class of 350, barely managing to find a seat for myself, then I have to figure out how to get all this stuff off, which requires a lot of wiggling around in those annoyingly small seats.  Then, once I get that taken care of, there is no room to put it.  GAH!  So that's my winter rant for this year.  I'll probably have another one after the snow builds up pretty high. 

Actually feeling productive, though not in regards to my History of the British Isles group project.  Those boys are on their own now, I don't feel like organizing every little thing for them.  It's really annoying. 

I worked up the courage to email Dr. Goldy about being my faculty mentor for my USS research.  She hasn't written back yet, but I saw her today and she said she just hadn't had a chance to respond.  I'm kinda worried though, because the SCA thing aside, I really have a lot of respect for her and her knowledge of history.  I'm deathly afraid that she'll send me an email saying something like "You are a disgrace to the study of history" or something.  I know it's unlikely, but I'm pretty self-conscious and it was a big deal for me to even send her the proposal. 

Worried about Mark, I think he might actually snap studying for the physics GRE.  Please don't flip out or start taking drugs, Mark.  Don't kill any of your roommates either.